Successful Relationship Building Secrets

Loyalty is a two-way street. Try to help others more than they help you. You may find that the rewards you receive are so great that you can’t keep up!

“Networking” or “contact development” has come under fire from many business people. Many complain that the only time they hear from some of their so-called friends is when the friend needs a favor. “I wish you would stop telling people that networking is the best way to get a job”, a business associate recently grumbled to me. She said, “I’m sick and tired of people contacting me when they are looking for a job and then not even having the courtesy to send me a thank you note. I’m not looking for them to take me out to dinner or buy me some gift. All I want is some indication that my effort and advice was appreciated. That’s called good manners!”

I have heard similar complaints from others and want to let readers know that this warning sign is out there. You must be aware of this trend and take extra steps to head off the negative reaction you may receive by being guilty of displaying bad manners. We should never forget that our life progresses in cycles. Sometimes we find ourselves in a rewarding and satisfying job that we love. At other times, we must move to another job or we find that the job we are in changes to where it is not satisfying, but we stay because we have nowhere else to go. Then occasionally, we find ourselves out of work.

The important thing to keep in mind regarding relationship building is that you must work at it during all phases. Whether you are happy in your job, dissatisfied or out of work, you should maintain constant contact with your relationship group. If you find that there is some particular individual that you cannot do this with, then you should admit that they are not a part of the group. You should eliminate them and possibly look for a replacement. Do not expect any such person to assist you when you are in need. So, give serious consideration before eliminating anyone.

The people within your relationship group must be compatible with you. That doesn’t mean that you must all be clones of each other. There should be somewhat of a symbiotic relationship. A “give and take” attitude should exist between you and each member of the group. However, and this is really an important point, these relationships work best when you give without thinking about what you might receive in return. To do otherwise will come off as phony.

Whenever you speak with members of your relationship group, be courteous and considerate of their time. If you call them, for example, always ask if this is a good time to speak with them. When meeting in person, always show up early. The advice I received during my Air Force days has served me well, “If you are not 15 minutes early, you are late.”

If you notice an article that may interest them, you should forward it to them. Many online articles allow this to be done quite easily via e-mail. Once you have established a good relationship with them, do not hesitate to interact with them in a personal way. In fact, many people with the best relationship building skills do not differentiate between business and personal contacts. An important aspect is to gradually cultivate these relationships and not expect immediate results.

Another way to show appreciation and reciprocate for favors received is to write thank you letters or notes. You should select the length and style of the thank you response to suit you own style and make sure it is appropriate for the occasion and the recipient. Just as pointed out at the beginning of this article, everyone likes to be appreciated.

It’s amazing how doing good deeds for others without any thought of what you might receive in return is the most powerful way to gain great returns. It proves, once again, the human behavioral principles that are explained in detail in chapter 3 of the book, Job Finding Formula. Finding the best job will result in your having more money, gaining the praises of friends and family, and allow you to enjoy life in a more comfortable style.

Michael Britner
Job Finding Master